[kj] Oh tea: helpdesk thingies

[Gabriella]

... say no more :-)
I used to work in an internet café - let´s just say I´m glad to be out of 
there!

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "fatpotanga" <fatpotanga at SexMagnet.com>
To: "The Gathering" <gathering at misera.net>
Sent: Friday, October 15, 2004 10:04 AM
Subject: [kj] Oh tea: helpdesk thingies


>
> HELPDESK LOG...
>
> Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
>
> Female customer: A white one...
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
>
> Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?
>
> Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
>
> Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ."
>
> Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still
> on my desk... sorry
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
>
> Customer: Your left or my left?
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
>
> Male customer: Hello.. I can't print.
>
> Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ..
>
> Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill
> Gates damn it!
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it
> says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in
> front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Customer: I have problems printing in red...
>
> Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer?
>
> Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?
>
> Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.
>
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Helpdesk: And now hit F8.
>
> Customer: It's not working.
>
> Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?
>
> Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's
> happening...
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
>
> Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
>
> Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
>
> Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
>
> Customer: OK
>
> Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
>
> Customer: Yes
>
> Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another
> keyboard?
>
> Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital
> letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
>
> Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> A customer couldn't get on the internet.
>
> Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
>
> Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
>
> Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
>
> Customer: Five stars.
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use?
>
> Customer: Netscape.
>
> Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.
>
> Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on
> my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you?
>
> Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you.
>
> Can you please tell me how long it will take before you can help me?
>
> Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem?
>
> Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than
> 4 hours ago.
> Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Helpdesk: How may I help you?
>
> Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
>
> Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
>
> Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around
> It?
>
>
>
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