[kj] Re: Back in NYC/Custom Troubles/Big Thanks/PICTURES!

[Robert Martin]

Without being patronising, how good a bloke is Alex, eh?
Top man!
If more people met guys like him, rather than watch GWB on the news
then maybe Americans wouldn't have such a bad press over here.
Excellent story of customs at NY.
Have you ever thought of writing your memoirs - starting with your
trip to London?
You got out of London at the right time.
It was 'kin cold this morning.
Take care

Rob Martin


Quoting gathering-request at misera.net:

> Date: Sun, 27 Feb 2005 20:32:49 -0500
> From: Alexander Smith <vassifer at earthlink.net>
> Subject: [kj] Back in NYC/Custom Troubles/Big Thanks/PICTURES!
> To: "A list about all things Killing Joke (the band!)"
> 	<gathering at misera.net>
> Message-ID: <A7DE73CE-8928-11D9-9716-000A95ED6FF0 at earthlink.net>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII; format=flowed
> 
> 
> Good lord am I fucking tired. Yeah, this is another long one, but
> gimme 
> a break. And there are links to pics at the bottom.
> 
> Alex Back in NYC reporting once again for Active Duty.
> 
> Got in this morning (after traipsing around London all day Saturday
> 
> with List-Meister Misera). My flight was chock-full of THREE
> British 
> high school classes combined on their way to a big communal visit
> to 
> NYC. It was like flying over the Atlantic in a massive fucking
> school 
> bus. Mr.inNYC was NOT at all pleased. They were fine, though, for
> the 
> most part. On the way off the plane, who should be greeting me as I
> 
> cross the threshold but Mr.RICHARD BRANSON, VIRGIN CEO himself! 
> Actually shook the man's hand. Stranger than fiction.
> 
> .....and then things got shitty again.
> 
> I was pulled over -- quite unexpectedly and frustratingly
> inexplicably 
> -- by U.S. CUSTOMS. That's right, MY OWN FUCKING COUNTRY decided
> that 
> it needed to have a little chatty-chat with me. Going through the 
> motions at the custom's gate, the decidedly unsmiling man behind
> the 
> desk drew a BIG YELLOW LINE down my declaration card and told me to
> 
> "see the gate clerk." Not clued in that something was up, said
> clerk 
> said "go see Number 15!". Okay. I walk over to Number Fifteen
> (despite 
> the good-natured entreaties of clearly bored Number Sixteen, a
> jovial 
> black gent). Oh no, I went with equally unsmiling Number Fifteen, a
> 
> true jarhead with a buzzcut and a bad attitude. At this point, I 
> *STILL* haven't realized that something is up. "Have you ever been
> in 
> trouble with Customs before, sir?" he barks. "Umm.....what do you
> mean 
> before? Am I in trouble with Customs NOW?" "Just answer the
> question, 
> sir!" Fuck. "No sir." "Have you ever lived in Seattle?"
> "Ummmm....no, 
> I'm a native New Yorker and always have been --- and have lots of 
> documentation to support it". "What do you do for a living, sir?" 
> "Ummm...I'm a journalist, I supp..." "LET ME SEE YOUR PASSPORT
> NUMBER 
> IMMEDIATELY!" By this point, I'm getting alarmed. "Ummm....is
> something 
> wrong?" I'm panicking now, as I didn't declare the six little jars
> of 
> fancy mustard I bought at Fortnum & Mason for my mother-in-law.
> But, 
> somewhat surprisingly, they don't look in my bag. Lots of frowning,
> 
> typing, brow-furrowing and suspicious staring. Finally, some
> stamping 
> of my passport and I'm given a "comment card". "Am I in trouble, 
> officer?" I ask...sounding worryingly like Shaggy in 'Scooby-Do'.
> "I'm 
> not allowed to tell you, sir, but if you contact the address in the
> 
> document I just handed you, perhaps they can elaborate. With a last
> 
> name as common as yours......" he trailed off. And waved me off.
> And 
> off I went, shaken and paranoid. I still haven't the faintest clue
> why 
> the pulled me aside, but I have the sneaking suspicion that it
> might've 
> had *EVERYTHING* to do with the "MALICIOUS DAMAGE OPERATIVE" badge
> I 
> was sporting on my jacket lapel. I'll get you for this, Coles.
> 
> 
> Alright, enough about that. Here's the meaty part. I'd just like to
> 
> truly thank *EACH AND EVERY GATHERER AND GATHERER-ASSOCIATE* I was
> 
> fortunate enough to come into contact with in the past three days.
> I'm 
> worried about citing names, as I'm deathly afraid of leaving
> anybody 
> out, but I feel I'd be truly, truly remiss if I didn't specifically
> 
> thank.....
> 
> 
> ** Rob Moss ** -- Rob was a gent enough to pick me up at Heathrow
> and 
> shepherd me around the town for both gigs, more or less making sure
> I 
> didn't get into any serious trouble. He may be a big looking gent
> and 
> have a serious problem with displaying his below-the-belt
> equipment, 
> but he's truly a stand-up, lovable guy. I hope you are feeling
> better 
> after splitting early on Friday, Rob, and I hope you made it home 
> safely back to Oxford (home of Ride, don'tcha know!)  Heh heh.
> Sorry. 
> Enjoy the Ramones shirt, you big girly blouse.
> 
> ** Mike Coles & His Lovely Family ** -- Another big round of cheers
> to 
> Mike and his wonderful (and patient) wife, Lyrico and their 
> incomparably beautiful children (luckily for Mike, like my own 
> daughter, they take after the Mother). Not only did the Coles's add
> a 
> dash of clout, but their honed-from-parenting good natures
> compelled 
> them to look after me when I decided to happily part with all
> semblance 
> of coherent reason (via many pints of Grolsch) and beer-handling 
> coordination. Mike was also nice enough to invite Andy Misera and 
> myself out to the fabled Malicious Towers in Kilburn on Saturday, 
> treating us to a rare glimpse inside the proverbial MD vault. And I
> now 
> know why it's called "the Skylight Zone". He also treated Andy &
> myself 
> to several selections from the forthcoming CLOCK MACHINE
> compilation, 
> and lemme just say, biases aside, THIS DISC ROCKS! There is some 
> *TRULY* inspired music thereupon, and if some of those tracks
> aren't 
> ripe for becoming genuine, radio-friendly hits, than I've got dog
> semen 
> in my ears.
> 
> ** Andy Misera ** -- Our beloved List-Meister was good enough to
> guide 
> me around London on Saturday, visiting not only the Coles' place,
> but 
> several shopping locales and more coffee bars, comic shops, posh 
> boutiques, chip shops and pubs than you can shake a a pointy stick
> at.
> 
> ** Graham/Woody2Shooz**  -- The ageless Graham was a gent enough to
> 
> supply with tickets for both nights and refused to accept any
> semblance 
> of payment (did I ever get you anything CLOSE to your weight in
> lager?)
> 
> ** Stephane the Frenchman** --  Quite unsolicitedly bestowed on me
> some 
> richly undeserved goodies like a signed (by all four) poster of the
> 
> gigs. We may like shouting "BASTARD" at you, Frenchman, but you're
> a 
> hecka-swell gent.
> 
> ** Bob Barathy ** -- For being a smashing gent for looking after
> the 
> poster alluded to just above (which he will hopefully send to me at
> 
> some point and not use it to wrap rancid fish with, though I'm sure
> 
> Mike Coles could live with that).
> 
> ** Nichola Wood & Wilfull Dave** -- Neither of whom are on the
> list, 
> but who very nicely rescued me from wandering off into the
> desolate, 
> pitch black of the Shepherd Bush night, bundling me into cab where
> I 
> was forced to discuss the merits of Las Vegas with an 
> overly-enthusiastic cab driver.
> 
> ** Jel ** -- For serving as both a massively good dude, a big
> fuckoff 
> giant who probably scared off loads of Yankaphobes who'd have
> gladly 
> pounded my head in, and as an excellent step-ladder to up above the
> 
> fray of the "knitting circle".
> 
> Beyond that, what can I say? I met so many nice folks like Rob,
> Dave (I 
> met about eight Daves, so let that one citation serve them all), 
> Idolatry, Marnyk from Brussels, Brian, Jel's big pal Cliff, Jon 
> Chapman, Mark Saxton (who was always in the men's
> room....worryingly), 
> Mel, THE INFAMOUS PETER WEST (who's actually an unfailingly nice, 
> smiley guy), Rob Martin, iPat, Horbag, Lisa Gannon, Leigh & his
> friend 
> Jane, Marc Phillips and Sarah (who I never found again after the 
> Goldhawk), Christophe (again), Dirk (again), Antoni (again), the 
> hilarious Neil Perry, Tom the Canadian (not on the list?), PAUL
> (DUB) 
> from Dublin, Jamie, Mick Head, MIK RAVEN (again), Jane & Ian,
> Juliet 
> Pleming,...
> 
> ....I'm sure I'm forgetting someone, so HUGE APOLOGIES if so. In
> case 
> you didn't notice, I was a bit on the inebriated side quite a lot
> of 
> the time.
> 
> Anyway, herewith the pics. Do enjoy:
> 
> THURSDAY:
> http://homepage.mac.com/alexinnyc/2005/PhotoAlbum119.html
> 
> FRIDAY:
> http://homepage.mac.com/alexinnyc/2005/PhotoAlbum120.html
> 
> Cheers again,
> 
> Alex in NYC....happy to be home.
>