[kj] OT -- Metal Joke

[sade1]

Metal Joke

  This is the situation: there's a beautiful princess trapped in
a castle watched by a dragon. Here's the end of the story with
different styles of metalheads as knights.(can do w/out the
raping, though)

POWER METAL:

The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the
dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted
forest.

THRASH METAL:

The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princes
and fucks her.

HEAVY METAL:

The protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks a
few
beers and fucks the princess.

FOLK METAL:

The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions,
violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon
falls sleep (because of all the dancing). Then all
leave....without the princess.

VIKING METAL:

The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his
mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to
death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before
leaving.

DEATH METAL:

The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess
and kills her, then leaves.

BLACK METAL:

The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and
impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomises the
princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then
he impales the princess next to the dragon.

GORE METAL:

The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts
in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then
he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her
guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the
corpse and fucks it for the last time.

DOOM METAL:

The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks
he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits
suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert.
That's the end of the sad story.

PROGRESIVE METAL:

The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26
minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The
protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo
with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of
the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the "HEAVY
METAL" protagonist.

GLAM METAL:

The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's
appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make-up
and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color.

NU METAL:

The protagonist arrives in a run-down Honda Civic and attempts
to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy
clothes catch fire. 

=====
...  ...  ...  ...  ...  ...  
As the masters rot on walls
And the angels eat their grapes
I watched picasso 
visit the planet of the apes


		
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