[kj] OT: Posting on Craigslist that's getting mailed around

[B. Oliver Sheppard]

[I actually don't believe this to be true -- it's one of those emails 
that gets passed around only to be debunked on Snopes.com months later. 
But true or not, there's some sort of painful insight about US culture 
buried in it... -Oliver]


THE FOLLOWING APPEARED ON CRAIGSLIST:

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a
beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl.
I'm articulate and classy.

I'm not from New York . I'm looking to get married to
a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know
how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a
year is middle class in New York City, so I don't
think I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this
board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated
a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But
that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't
get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga
class who was married to an investment banker and
lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor
is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How
do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me
specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys,
you won't hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles
on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really
'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer
married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop
dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east
village. What's the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer,
investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys
really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the
hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am
looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out
there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are
superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I
wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I
wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture,
sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or
other commercial interests

PostingID: 432279810




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THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have
thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the
following analysis of your predicament.

Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy
who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per
year. That said here's how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is
plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here's why.
Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a
simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I
bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your
looks will fade and my money will likely continue into
perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income
increases but it is an absolute certainty that you
won't be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and
I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating
asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain,
you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the
next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade
begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading
position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage.
It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you"
(which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In
case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the
following. If my money were to go away, so would you,
so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as
simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating,
not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about
efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as
"articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I
find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as
you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if
not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your
own money and then we wouldn't need to have this
difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it
the right way.
Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into
some sort of lease, let me know.