[kj] OT

[ade]

Isn't shit great !?!?!

-----Original Message-----
From: gathering-bounces at misera.net [mailto:gathering-bounces at misera.net]On Behalf Of fatpotanga
Sent: 02 January 2008 21:55
To: A list about all things Killing Joke (the band!)
Subject: Re: [kj] OT


I've probably mentioned this before (but when has that every stopped me?) 
A guy (called Jamie funnily enough) in my old dive club, on his honeymoon came out of the bathroom naked & thought it'd be a good idea to impress his new bride by farting.
He bent over, let rip & this 'widget' as he called it flew out of his arse and landed square in the middle of the newspaper she was reading!
Strangely enough the marriage didn't last long.
--
My mate Geoff on a 1st date got caught short & nipped in a park for a poo.
It was very cold & dark, he was drunk & fell backwards onto it and had it smeared all up the back of his coat.
--
Another friend of mine tells a tale from his student days of his house mate (again after beer) going for a huge, satisfying dump.
He leaped back into bead only to have shit squirt up his back & onto the wall.
In his enthusiasm he'd neglected to pull down his underwear.
--
another guy I know worked on a road gang.
A newbie turned up one day working on a pipeline down a country lane.
He needed to go & asked his workmates what they did.
Just go in the hedge they said.
off he goes, and has a great big dump.
What he doesn't know is one of them was on the other side of the hedge with a shovel who catches it all & spirits it away leaving this poor sod somewhat flummoxed when he stand up see nothing after what was probably a satisfying motion.
--
Another friend Niall cites this as his 2nd most embarrassing moment.
There'd been a house party & he'd been drinking pretty solidly for 2 days.
So much so he lost control of his bowels & shat himself.
being drunk he took all his clothes off, managing to cover himself & the floor & walls in poo.
being drunk, he then went out onto the landing stark naked, covered in shit with a miniscule dick after 2 days of constant booze & declared in front of a packed house his undying love for this girl & threatened the guy she was getting off with.
I'd love to know his 1st most. He won't tell.
--
my mate Richard went off adventuring all over South America. he does some serious mountaineering.
He climbed up a huge mountain despite rock falls & an avalanche warning.
Reaches the summit & after hours of holding it in just has to go to the toilet.
He inches to the edge, digs his crampons in and squats down - arse over a thousand foot drop or whatever it was.
He hears this almighty roar & in his own words literally shat himself as he looked round expecting to see an avalanche.
Beneath him was a passenger jet!
--

I have a lot more poo stories but thankfully that's all for now children.





On 2 Jan 2008, at 20:49, ade wrote:



This & Rob's story rocks - pure quality.
 
I remember watching out while my mate shat down the cavity of a house that was being built. Clearly
a pioneer in environmentally friendly insulation methods.
 
I bet the people who now live in that house have spent £1000s trying to exorcise the place of an
Amityville-style infestation, replete with fgunny smells & stained/bleeding walls...




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