[kj] OT

[bongo]

cheers..! i aint much of a fighter, and i now have my strategy all sorted...
(hoping for a chance to test it out soon...)

=)



On Jan 3, 2008 11:53 AM, Brendan <bq at soundgardener.co.nz> wrote:

> It could actually save your life, here's how:

>

> If you're ever in a really bad situation, cornered with 8 nasty guys with

> weapons about to rip you a new one...best thing to do, go with the nerves,

> take a dump in your pants, smear your hands through it, cover your face

> and run full tit through them screaming like a madman...no one is gonna

> want to even touch you.

>

> Actually it'd make quite a good Mentos ad, right down to the lightbulb

> moment when he has the inspiration...

>

> Aaahhhh...2008 is off to a cacking good start on the Gathering shitlist :)

>

>

>

> > Isn't shit great !?!?!

> >

> > -----Original Message-----

> > From: gathering-bounces at misera.net [mailto:gathering-bounces at misera.net]On

> > Behalf Of fatpotanga

> > Sent: 02 January 2008 21:55

> > To: A list about all things Killing Joke (the band!)

> > Subject: Re: [kj] OT

> >

> >

> > I've probably mentioned this before (but when has that every stopped me?)

> > A guy (called Jamie funnily enough) in my old dive club, on his honeymoon

> > came out of the bathroom naked & thought it'd be a good idea to impress

> > his new bride by farting.

> > He bent over, let rip & this 'widget' as he called it flew out of his arse

> > and landed square in the middle of the newspaper she was reading!

> > Strangely enough the marriage didn't last long.

> > --

> > My mate Geoff on a 1st date got caught short & nipped in a park for a poo.

> > It was very cold & dark, he was drunk & fell backwards onto it and had it

> > smeared all up the back of his coat.

> > --

> > Another friend of mine tells a tale from his student days of his house

> > mate (again after beer) going for a huge, satisfying dump.

> > He leaped back into bead only to have shit squirt up his back & onto the

> > wall.

> > In his enthusiasm he'd neglected to pull down his underwear.

> > --

> > another guy I know worked on a road gang.

> > A newbie turned up one day working on a pipeline down a country lane.

> > He needed to go & asked his workmates what they did.

> > Just go in the hedge they said.

> > off he goes, and has a great big dump.

> > What he doesn't know is one of them was on the other side of the hedge

> > with a shovel who catches it all & spirits it away leaving this poor sod

> > somewhat flummoxed when he stand up see nothing after what was probably a

> > satisfying motion.

> > --

> > Another friend Niall cites this as his 2nd most embarrassing moment.

> > There'd been a house party & he'd been drinking pretty solidly for 2 days.

> > So much so he lost control of his bowels & shat himself.

> > being drunk he took all his clothes off, managing to cover himself & the

> > floor & walls in poo.

> > being drunk, he then went out onto the landing stark naked, covered in

> > shit with a miniscule dick after 2 days of constant booze & declared in

> > front of a packed house his undying love for this girl & threatened the

> > guy she was getting off with.

> > I'd love to know his 1st most. He won't tell.

> > --

> > my mate Richard went off adventuring all over South America. he does some

> > serious mountaineering.

> > He climbed up a huge mountain despite rock falls & an avalanche warning.

> > Reaches the summit & after hours of holding it in just has to go to the

> > toilet.

> > He inches to the edge, digs his crampons in and squats down - arse over a

> > thousand foot drop or whatever it was.

> > He hears this almighty roar & in his own words literally shat himself as

> > he looked round expecting to see an avalanche.

> > Beneath him was a passenger jet!

> > --

> >

> > I have a lot more poo stories but thankfully that's all for now children.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > On 2 Jan 2008, at 20:49, ade wrote:

> >

> >

> >

> > This & Rob's story rocks - pure quality.

> >

> > I remember watching out while my mate shat down the cavity of a house that

> > was being built. Clearly

> > a pioneer in environmentally friendly insulation methods.

> >

> > I bet the people who now live in that house have spent £1000s trying to

> > exorcise the place of an

> > Amityville-style infestation, replete with fgunny smells &

> > stained/bleeding walls...

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > _______________________________________________

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> > Gathering at misera.net

> > http://four.pairlist.net/mailman/listinfo/gathering

> >

>

>

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>

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-- 


"due to a lack of trained trumpeters, the end of the world has been
postponed indefinitely..."