[kj] My Delightful Downstairs Neighbour OT

[blankwerks]

what?

2008/9/3 Change <crackedmachine at yahoo.co.uk>


> The council recently stole all electrical "noise making equipment from my

> flat to prevent me listening to music in my own home. They warned me that I

> would get an ASBO if I carried on listening to music in my own home. I asked

> if I could have a T-shirt and framed certificate to go on the wall.

> Starngely the ASBO busybodies do not view the fact that the same person has

> assaulted me three times as "anti-social behaviour." Hitting people is much

> more anti-social than listening to music in my opinion. On the last weekend

> of August Manchester Evening News had a hilarious frontpage headline "The

> Death Knell of the ASBO," procaliming that the use of ASBOs for such trivial

> matters has backfired as most people ignore them. They'll be stepping on the

> cracks in the pavement next!

>

> Here's the story of the first couple of assaults:

>

> My fuse had blown so music was out and there was dance racket coming from

> Flat 2 downstairs, summer gaylord disco camp shtick. It wasn't up to much

> but I was curious to see how Doctor Who would fight off the Cyber-Dalek

> apocalypse with a pair of red-green 3D specs. Joanna Wheeler answered her

> door and invited me in where she and three friends were drinking beer,

> smoking dope and snorting coke. She gave me a can of Grolsch and we put Dr

> Who on with the sound down. Hell I was only really interested in the effects

> not the script which seemed to involve flying Daleks, Cybermen invading

> suburban homes to watch TV and men with guns running about a lot and kissing

> Dr Who. The best bit was when the Daleks skullfucked an Asian scientist,

> leaving no flesh on his head. The skull looked rather like Wheeler's

> pathetic boyfriend who she claimed was not her boyfriend when he'd gone out

> to the offy. I gave him a fiver to get some more lager. Jo was behaving

>  flirtatiously, but at least she wasn't drunk enough to take off her

> knickers to show off her shaven cunt whilst hollering, "Fuck me up the

> arse!" which she did on a previous evening when I popped in for a drink. She

> was the worst shag I've ever had by some distance. After Romain returned he

> started bleating in his camp whiny voice, "Where's me blow? Somebody's

> knicked me blow!" Everyone would get tired of the act and somehow he'd find

> his brown lump. Later I realised he was trying to pull a pathetic con trick

> of blaming me for stealing his drugs to have an excuse to have a go at me.

> After snorting more cocaine than his brain could deal with, he suddenly

> punched me in the face and ran out of the flat and out of the house.

> Everyone was quite surprised, but retrospectively I realised he'd probably

> been getting insanely jealous as Wheeler was behaving flirtatiously towards

> me. I ended up with a fat lip and still have a slightly numb spot above a

> tooth.

>  Everyone thought he was out of order and rather ridiculous. Jo said he'd

> be back tomorrow, and sure enough he was, oozing pitiful regret and

> apologising for his stupid behaviour. At the time I didn't despise him as

> much as I would later so I accepted the apology, more for Jo's sake than

> his. After that I avoided him as much as possible as he was always pretty

> annoying. One night I was in their flat and they put 'Alien 3' on. Paul

> through a tantrum because Jo wasn't shagging him and went to bed, so I left.

>

> Next time he attacked me he tried to force his way into my flat to steal a

> computer he'd given me. He acquired a few computers from a local college

> upgrading their machines, on the proviso that he pass them on to people

> living in Whalley Range. I guess he didn't mention that he was actually

> living in Chorlton. He managed to push me over and knocked a radiator off

> the wall, so all the water poured out of it. I wasn't actually harmed, and

> called the police but after he did his pity me act and the WPC let him off

> after telling him that he had no right to order me to turn down music as he

> didn't legally live in Flat 2. He even told her that if I played loud music

> he'd try to atack me again, and admitted the attempted robbery, but she

> still didn't charge him. She also asked me not to play music so loud.

>

>

> Romain is a racist creep who mutters crap about immigrants who come over

> here stealing jobs from the working class English born and bred, not

> realising that he probably has Italian blood from migrant ancestors judging

> by his surname. He also spews false inadequate pride in his working class

> roots, so I guess its a shame that he's too insecure and incompetant to get

> off sickness benefit for long. Anyway, to be asked to turn music down for

> the benefit of this parasite who has tried and failed to bully me is a gross

> insult. He'd also love it if I moved out so that he could move into my flat.

>

> Here's a couple of excerpts from my conversation with the woman from the

> City Council's ASBO harrassment unit, who clearly is not stupid...

>

> The first thing I wanted to bring up is that the list of items you took

> from my flat that you only provided for me after I wrote to you rather than

> at the time the items were stolen, is incomplete. There was also some

> speaker cable that is worth a lot more than some of those old  speakers I

> rescued from skips. I mentioned in a letter that there is a tape by the Dead

> C in the battered old black double cassette deck / radio. There's a Tom

> Waits CD inside the  silver Onkyo CD player and a Thalia Zedek CD inside the

> discman. When the dour Council servant with the moustache took the crap

> RSPCA DVD player he made a point of removing my Tortoise DVD from it so I

> think it is fair to assume that your warrant didn't actually cover these

> three items that were taken and a case might even be able to be made legally

> that it was theft to take them. I'd like them back without having to pay you

> eight hundred pounds, especially the Thalia Zedek CD as I haven't been able

>  to find another copy of it anywhere. Obviously that alone won't be worth

> paying eight hundred pounds for.

>

> LH - You think the CDs are in there?

>

> They are in the machines and I don't think they are covered by the warrant.

> It'd be stupid to pay a solictor three hundred pounds to find out.

>

> LH - I'll look into that.

>

> The thing about anti-social behaviour is it isn't like my neighbours have

> been so well behaved themselves.

>

> LH - I have some notes here from your letter so what we'll do is go through

> these. In the letter from the 13th of May you're claiming that an amplifier

> was broken.

>

> Yes and the knob that came off is still in my possession as is the front

> cover of one of the large black Technics speakers.

>

> LH - Which amplifier is it?

>

> The large old analogue one with the VDUs on the front. I expect it will

> have stopped working after being moved as the last time I moved it it almost

> died, so its not really going to be worth paying you to get it back. I guess

> its not a big deal, except that the police assured me that nothing would be

> damaged by the diligent Council thieves.

> Do you realise you could have paid to soundproof my flat instead of all

> this bureaucratic harrassment that has ultimately just annoyed me?

>

> ''''

>

> 12:29

>

> LH - My concern is the neighbours that you're disturbing. There's nothing

> worse than having to endure loud music constantly at various hours of the

> day.

>

> That's one of the stupidest things I've ever been told in my life. Would

> you rather have AIDS?

>

> LH - I'm not going to continue. I'm trying to explain to you at the moment.

>

> I understand what you are trying to explain.

>

> LH - Well do you not understand what I'm saying to you?

>

> I think you just said something very stupid and I told you so. I proved it

> I think as you haven't disputed that hearing music is preferable to

> contracting AIDS. I don't see why that should be used as a feeble excuse to

> end this conversation.

>

> LH - I'm trying to explain something and you're calling me stupid! Do you

> think that's going to help the situation?

>

> I didn't call you stupid. I said that you said something stupid. There is a

> difference. Do you understand?

>

> (Despite announcing that she would not continue, she did in fact carry on

> and later wrote me a letter assuring me that the council had not broken any

> of the things they stole).

>

> 13:27

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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