[kj] Funeral pyre

[Paul Gorman [Home]]

Lol. nice one Pete, glad to know you took something from it all and are
still in good health

 

Cheers for the smile to start the day.

 

Have a good one.

 

dub

 

From: gathering-bounces at misera.net [mailto:gathering-bounces at misera.net] On
Behalf Of F Luke
Sent: 09 July 2012 08:51 AM
To: gathering at misera.net
Subject: Re: [kj] Funeral pyre

 

Hi Rob again, I was kind of hoping that you were going to ask me what
happened .
But I'll tell you anyway .
I went around to the gfs sisters apartment one evening and banged on her
door , quite vigorously and the door was a cheap flimsy door made of
cardboard and I ended up making a hole in the door .
  I spoke to the owner the next day and we agreed that he would fix the door
and I would pay the costs, no problem .
A few days later it was my turn to have someone vigorously knocking on my
door, this time it was the Police , I was still asleep with a hangover and
didnt feel like talking to them , so I just ignored them and went back to
sleep .
  I went out that evening to watch football in a bar , soon as I sat down
with my drink and began to watch football , a Police car drew up and three
Police jumped out and came over to me and asked me to accompany them to the
Police station, I said that I would as soon as the game was finished, but
they told me to come now .Sit down , have a drink and we'll go after the
game I suggested.
  Handcuffs came out, I got cuffed up ,manhandled and bundled into the car.
  I was quite perturbed at this point, I had just gotton myself and beer and
began to watch football, next thing I knew I was cuffed up and being taken
to the cop shop and I knew that I hadnt done anything wrong and I thought
that they were after money, so I offered them some money there and then,
which they refused.
  When we got to the cop shop I asked them what I had done wrong and why I
was arrested , they told me that I had resisted arrest, avoided arrest and
attempted to bribe a Police officer and that carries a three year jail
sentence , yes, but I asked them why they arrested me and they told me that
it was for resisting arrest, "You bunch of corrupt cunst" I told
them....."thats another six months" he said, "being abusive to Police" . And
I got carted off to jail .
  A few days later they come and mention the door that got broke and I told
them that I had taken steps to get it fixed.
They charged me with breaking and entry, trespass and a few other things,
things that I didnt do , although I didnt get charged with attempted bribery
and resisting arrest.
   They then told me that I had two choices, go to Court and admit all
charges and you will go home, or go not guilty and fight the case, if I
choose to fight the case, I would have to fight it from jail and they would
appoint my lawyer who isnt very good but expensive.
I agreed to go guilty.
I pleaded guilty to all charges and got a fine and a suspended sentence , I
just wanted to go home.
I paid the fine and was free to go, so I needed a beer and went straight to
my friends bar, but it was closed .
I phoned him and asked why he was closed , he said that his Thai gf had left
him and taken all the money and cleansed him out and he was about to shoot
himself in the head and  burn the bar down  .
  FFS I told him, dont be so stupid, think about it , youve got a bar full
of beer , drink all the beer, then shoot yourself in the head and  burn the
place down next week . "Good idea" he said "Come around"
So I went around his bar and we began to attempt to drink the place dry.
   Three days later his gf came back , the bar was a bit of a mess by that
time and she asked what we were doing , I tried to explain but she wasnt too
impressed and banned me from the bar .
   I ve learnt my lesson though.....next time I'll ring on the bell

 

  _____  

From: fluke1 at live.co.uk
To: gathering at misera.net
Date: Sat, 7 Jul 2012 12:50:10 +0000
Subject: Re: [kj] Funeral pyre

Hi Rob , all is well , although recently I did have to spend a bit of time
in jail and got a six month suspended sentence and a fine , I  accidentally
got hit  over the shoulder with pool cue , I got banned from my friends bar
and I had to spend three days in a house with a corpse , the weather seems
to be either scorching hot or torrential rain, although there is a pleasant
ten minute period between the scorching hot and torrential rain..... anyway
at least the locals are nice and friendly and welcoming..............

  _____  

From: rob.moss at gmx.com
Date: Tue, 3 Jul 2012 15:59:17 +0100
To: gathering at misera.net
Subject: Re: [kj] Funeral pyre

Two and a half Pete?

 

Nice insight to the culture. 

Hope all is well

 



On 3 Jul 2012, at 14:21, F Luke <fluke1 at live.co.uk> wrote:

Went to a local funeral last week, gfs Dad died (its OK, im not looking for
any sympathy replies).Got a phone call that he had died, so myself, the gf
and her sister jumped in a car and went up to the village, a small village
near Laos and Myanmar, got there and went into the house ands the coffin was
in the front room and they took the lid off to have a look ,  the funeral
was in three days time and the coffin was staying in the living room until
then, we were staying in the adjoining room. Over the next few days, various
people came to pay their respects, each removing the lid ans having a
look.Monks came around and sang a few songs.
  The day of the funeral arrived and more monks came and chanted, lifted the
lid off again and tied some string to his wrists, carried to coffin toa
truck, loaded it on the back and we all walked ahead of the truck pulling
the string, the coffin was then unloaded to the pyre, where the lid was once
again removed and family members poured a flammable liquid onto the body,
making sure that it went into his mouth and that the eye sockets were full.
The lid was replaced and wholes were made in the lid and more flammable
liquid was poured in.
  We stood back . Monks began chanting and it was ignited. We stood and
watched it burn, then went back to the house where Monk threw Holy water
over us, to make sure we didnt bring any ghosts back with us.
  Three days later, we went back to the pyre, it was still very hot. We were
there to retrieve any bones. We searched around the ashes looking for teeth
and bones, removing them and placing them on a White sheet, I found a large
bone and showed my gf, "Thats a good bit"She said "What bit is it" She
asked. "I dont know" I said, so we asked the Monk.He studied it andsaid that
it was a thigh bone. She was searching for teeth , its supposed to be good
luck if you find someones teeth and keep them on your person.
  I thought that it was going to be really gruesome, but it wasnt . It all
seemed quite natural.
I'd never seen a corpse untill this year, and now I ve seen two and a half
corpses already this year

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