[kj] (OT) Don't-let-The-Gathering-die! Emergency Poll

[Jim Harper]

It's completely unrelated to the poll, but Bigfoot/Drunk anecdote reminded me of a long-forgotten incident from my youth.

I must have been about 17 or 18. A friend of mine called Hannah was having a party at her house. If I remember correctly, it was the day after Kurt Cobain killed himself, so I was subjected to Nirvana throughout the entire fucking evening, which did not please me, since I was one of the (maybe) two people in the building who really hated Nirvana (we did get 15 minutes of Pearl Jam at one point, which was a significant improvement). As usual, I consumed large amount of Budweiser in a comparatively short space of time. One of my few coherent memories of the evening was being in Hannah's bathroom, puking my guts up. In mid-vomit, her father walked into the room and said: "If you die, can I have your Deep Purple records?"

Jim.

On Tue, 16/1/18, The Stranger via Gathering <gathering at misera.net> wrote:

 Subject: Re: [kj] (OT) Don't-let-The-Gathering-die! Emergency Poll
 To: "A list about all things Killing Joke (the band!)" <gathering at misera.net>
 Cc: "The Stranger" <letranger789 at yahoo.com>
 Date: Tuesday, 16 January, 2018, 3:31
 
 
 
 Nice, a Paul
 Poll!
 (Courtesy of Richard Herring.)
 
 1. Have you ever seen a
 ghost? Nope.
 
 2. Have you ever seen a
 Bigfoot? No but once a huge dude showed up at a party in
 my apartment, drank a two liter bottle of purple booze,
 started begging forgiveness for the satanic rituals he’d
 participated in and then proceeded to vomit off our balcony
 - staining a cellar door a deep chunky purple. It was on
 this day that he earned the nickname Grape Ape. But, no,
 never Bigfoot.
 
 3. What is your favourite
 cheese? Comte.
 
 4. Who is
 your favourite historical character? Gilligan.
 
 5. What is love anyway?
 Sublimated sex, maybe.
 Subsidiary question: Does anybody love anybody
 anyway?  Oh yeah!
 
 6. Would you
 rather be a cow or a badger? A cow, ruminating for days
 on end.
 
 7. Have you ever tried to
 communicate
 with the
 dead?  Absolutely.
 
 8. If you
 had to marry a Muppet – if you had to –
 which Muppet would you
 marry? Janice, the hot lipped bass player.
 
 9. Have you ever had a
 near death experience? No NDEs, but I’ve had multiple
 OBEs.
 
 10. If you got on
 Dragon’s Den, what product
 would you pitch? A hotdog, sold at McDonalds,
 called the McWiener.
 
 11. What’s
 the worst experience you’ve ever had
 in a hotel? A clock
 radio going off at 2am in the room next door until I threw
 the fuses for the entire floor. Pretty sure it was a ghost.
  Didn’t see him though..
 
 12. Which
 celebrity would you like to stroke your
 hair as you die? Parker
 Posey.
 
 13. What is your most
 mundane encounter with a
 celebrity? Hmmm saw Youth walk into a venue
 once. Got shy and didn’t say anything as he strolled on by
 in his white crumpled suit..
 
 14. Does sex
 with a robot count as cheating
 on your partner? My partner is a robot, so
 no.
 
 15. What song would you
 like to replace your
 national anthem? This Savage Freedom.
 
 16. If you could jump into
 a pool of something,
 what would it be? Butterscotch Pudding.
 
 17. If you could
 communicate with one animal,
 which animal would you communicate with
 and what would you ask
 them? Cat. I’d go “....what’s your
 problem?”
 
 18. How did the murder of
 Thomas A Beckett
 affect
 Anglo-Papal relations in the 12th
 Century? Two words. Shit Storm.
 
 19. Do you know the way to
 San Jose? I do.
 
 20. Have
 things turned out like you expected
 them to?
 Sometimes...
 
 BONUS QUESTION: How would
 you escape from a Nazi prisoner of
 war camp? Jet
 pack.
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